Why Is He Avoiding Me?

© by Jennifer McLeod writing as jenjen0703, all rights reserved.

This incredibly good-looking guy from work (whom you have shyly ogled from afar) asks you out on a date, and you accept the invitation. The two of you swap phone numbers and promised to call each other later to finalize the plans.

Later that evening, you best friend calls and asks if you want to go out with her for dinner and a movie. You politely tell her no and make up an excuse, telling her you are sick and ask for a rain check. You are planning to wait by the phone to see if he is going to call you.

He never does call, and you finally decide to go to bed. For two days, you refuse to leave your house in hopes that HE will call. You cannot stand waiting for his call anymore and decide to contact him. The conversation went well, and he invites you out for dinner and a show at a comedy club for the following Saturday night.

You impatiently make it through the rest of the work week, waiting for the final work bell to notify you that the weekend is here. You and he have been sneaking peeks and sharing quiet smiles from your separate work stations.

After work, you make a trip to the beauty salon for a new hairstyle and a manicure for Saturday night's date. You are excited and want to look your best on this date. You are still amazed he asked you out because, "He is so cute, he could go out with anyone he wants to."

Saturday finally arrives, and you try on several outfits before finding the one that looks the best. You settle on a cute dress and slip on a pair of heels as the doorbell rings, announcing that your date has arrived. You greet him at the door, and as he steps inside, he offers you a beautiful bouquet of flowers, which you carefully put in a vase of water on your way out the door.

Dinner was delicious, and the comedy show was even better. Conversation flowed easily between the two of you, and the margaritas he bought for you at dinner are starting to make you feel a little tipsy. Once the comedy show ends, you and your date head back to your house

You know you do not know this guy well, but you like him so much that you invite him in for a nightcap. The next morning he leaves, promising to call you later. By noon, you can't stand waiting for him to call you and decide to call him yourself. He does not answer the phone. "That's odd," you think to yourself, "I thought he said he was going home." Two hours later, you try to call him again and still receive no answer. You spend the rest of the day trying to reach him, to no avail.

You return to work on Monday, and see him standing by the time clock, punching in for work. You walk up to him and say hello and ask him why he didn't call you back. He offers a lame excuse for his disappearance and mumbles that he will call you later.

But he never does...

Most people have probably experienced situations similar to this before, some more than once. What happened? You spent a small chunk of money at the beauty salon on your hair and nails. You wore the perfect outfit. You invited him into your home, and now, you are in love. So, why is he avoiding you?

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The following tips will help you to understand what went wrong with your date and how to prevent it from happening again.

• Men are designed to pursue. For men, the pursuit of a woman is a challenge they enjoy. There is no challenge in the pursuit if you take him to bed with you on the first date. This action will cause a man to have little or no respect for you, and he will consider you to be "easy." Men do not want a relationship with a woman who will jump into bed with them that quickly. They will view you as an easy "lay" and treat you as such afterwards.
• Stop calling him all the time. His phone is not broken. He is not in the hospital. He did not have a tragic car accident and die. Chances are, sitting at his house watching your number pop up on his caller I.D. every 15 minutes. He is probably feeling stalked and smothered. Give him a chance to call you and pursue you.
• Take time to get to know him. It is not for me to say how long you should get to know a person before becoming intimately involved with him. One thing is certain, you definitely need to take time to become better acquainted with him. I do not believe you truly know a person for at least a year of regular communication. If he is "The One" for you, then you have the rest of your life to "get to know him better."
• Stay sober on your dates. Staying sober is important in the dating scene. Drinking alcohol can cause a person to lose their inhibitions and makes them less likely to make sound decisions. If you do drink on your date and do not know him well, do not let him buy your drink himself. Only accept drinks from your waitress or bartender. There are many unfortunate stories about women who have been raped because her date slipped a date rape drug into her drink. Use your common sense, and stay safe on your dates. If you find yourself in a dangerous situation or are attacked, do whatever you have to do to get away.
• Do not talk too much. Moderate how much you tell this man on your first date. He does not need to know your entire life history before dinner is over.
• Be a woman of integrity. Be the person who you want to be. You do not have to settle or take part in actions that are against your moral beliefs. If your date is pushing you to do things you do not want to do, then ditch him. Leave him in the dust. Men like that will never respect you or offer a real commitment. They are only after the goods, not the challenge of the pursuit.
• Do not let him use you. Today, many people have extremely casual attitudes towards sex. It has become a recreational activity for many, and people take part in this as easily as they play video games or golf. How can a woman expect a man to respect and honor her if she does not respect or honor herself? Be true to yourself and do not do anything you are not comfortable with. If you do become involved, USE A CONDOM. Protect yourself and everyone else on this planet.